It is midnight, Sunday Sept. 7th, and I have just returned home from completing the PSI Basic. I feel like the exact same person, but lighter, brighter, and there seems to be only ONE of me living in my body now. I don't feel it changed me, but I do feel like it completed me. For over twenty years, mostly since my mom died, I have been learning about myself and trying to become and be the best ME I can be. I have talked to hundreds of people, sharing every intimate detail of myself, openly and honestly, with no fear and hardly and preconceived judgments, AND YET, I've known there was something, some script, or secret program, or deeply held negative belief, that was keeping me from being whole, or able to be happy. Something that left me feeling cynical and untrusting of the world and myself. I thought I had looked under every rock, turned over every leaf, and studied every snowflake, looking for what it could be. I never found it so I reasoned, it must just be the lie of the world that my rightness can't survive in.
Then I played that game on Saturday night. I found the missing piece and now I am whole.
Turns out, I haven't thought I deserved to win. I thought my life was based on creating win win situations and yet it wasn't. Turns out I have been creating lose wins or win loses, but not win win. Either I had to suffer or others did, and it has usually been me. Every situation I've lost in, has been created by me so I could lose and others could win. I needed this set up so my experience could support my story and my self beliefs, which turn out to be quite ugly and negative.
I do wonder where I picked these beliefs up from but tonight I really don't care. I'm just glad they are in the light and I can look at them now and keep them from being re-created again in my life. I AM committed to continuing this work, so I will find them eventually, and need to so I can share my story to help others face the journey of looking for theirs.

Now I know I have found my purpose. I am going to be a PSI Basic Trainer. And filmmaker. Notice the two periods I put at the end of both.
Everything I've done in my life revolves around trying to enrich the lives of those around me. I take anything and turn it into a way to affect people's lives. I've discovered great truths and share them. I even work to perfect the ways I affect them. I'm always hungry for more knowledge and experience to share.
Well, Haaheo brought me to the mother lode.
I signed up tonight to staff the next basic. I will get the money to go to PSI7 and then to MLS, and then Principia, can't wait for the PLD, and plan to pack the Basics with everyone I know as long as it takes. Then I will attend the trainer training, wich is the least scary of them all for me. Haaheo says out of 43 applicants, they chose 3 to become trainers. This is where and when, the power that I have that attracts people to me, and my ability to speak to crowds, and my belief in these concepts, assures me that I will be chosen as a trainer.
Thereby fulfilling my purpose.
Haaheo has changed my life this week.
I am not the same person I was 4 days ago.